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problems with two males in the same house

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  • problems with two males in the same house

    norman is my 12 year old neutered male who i adore. i live in a duplex where my sister lives on the other side with her two female spayed cats, one of whom is norman's sister. this winter a poor, under-one-year-old male cat was abandoned and we took him into our breezeway. eventually my sister moved him into her house. we kept our doors closed so the two males did not interact. with warmer weather returning, we would like to open our doors to the breezeway as we always have but the young male is aggressive toward norman. i think norman is lonely and losing weight. he used to be the king of the house. he would walk over to my sister's house and visit the other cats, use their box, eat their food, sleep inthe sun on the breezeway. it's breaking my heart that he can't do this any more. is there anything to be done that will allow norman to coexist with the young male (elmer)? all suggestions welcome. by the way, elmer was also neutered.

  • #2
    Awww, this is so sad for your poor guy.
    I do not know much about cats, but I asked a friend who does and he advised the following:

    >> tell her to let them work it out. They will reach an agreement. Let
    them share space under supervision until they get used to each other.<<

    Let us know how things go!

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    • #3
      Like was said above they will need to work it out between them. It is about establishing who is the alpha cat. Once that is done, they should get along much better.
      [img]http://www.toppstorm.net/webwigets/Kitsig%20copy.jpg[/img]

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      • #4
        I am very worried that any cat that is losing weight, so you see a vet immediately. There can be many medical reasons, and you should get the cat checked out. If the cat is medically okay, then you have to look at stress around the home. Then post back and I've got some info about stress around the home.

        I personally am against allowing cats to "work it out among themselves." I have been on boards were cats have lost eyes in cat fights and had deep cuts that became infected. You will usually have a cat that is the leader, but you can't allow that cat to bully other cats away from food or the littter box, which may be happening. You are the boss of the house and you have to set up how you want the house to run, including how the cats are permitted to interact. Harmful interaction should be stopped immediatley.

        Post back about what the vet says.
        Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.
        P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975)

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        • #5
          Have you tried putting Elmer in a cat carrier at his house and let your cat smell everything out...they can't hurt each other that way but they can get to know each other. I've introduced plenty of cats into my home through the years, and they usually get along. I only had one time that a conflict happened, and I had to take my new kitty to the vet for medical attention. However now all 3 of my cats get along just fine, I think it was just the kitten was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

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          • #6
            First get your cat into the vet and make sure he is medically okay, then you can try the washcloth method below. As an FYI, anytime you have roommates or reside with others with animals, some of the ground rules set should be an agreement on having all pets to have a thorough medical exam, to be sure they are parasite and illness free.

            WASHCLOTH SCENTING TECHNIQUE
            Take a damp washcloth and go to Cat 1 and lightly rub the washcloth on the mouth and facial cheeks (where scent glands are) and then immediately take the washcloth to Cat No. 2 and wipe it well on the cat’s back and legs. Then take the washcloth to Cat No. 2 and lightly rub the washcloth on the mouth and facial cheeks (where scent glands are) and then immediately take the washcloth to Cat No. 1 and wipe it well on the cat’s back and legs. If you have more cats, do this with all the cats—after wiping on Cat No. 1 mouth and cheeks, then rub on the backs of all the other cats—and then continue on as above. Continue this throughout the day and for several days afterwards. This is scent mixing and you get them to accept each other’s scent.

            First get them separated for a few days and during that time start the wash cloth scenting technique below. It appeared on the Animal Planet cable network on a show called Barking Mad. The intent is to "mix" the scents so that all the scents become the "group scent" that everyone accepts. If that doesn't work then Barking Mad places the cats into cat carriers facing each other about 6 to 8 feet apart--where they could see other, then you feed them a treat. The idea is that you have been "scenting" and they see each other and they get a treat--with some animals they will identify the other animal with the treat and then accept the other animal.
            Cats, as a class, have never completely got over the snootiness caused by the fact that in ancient Egypt they were worshipped as gods.
            P.G. Wodehouse (1881-1975)

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            • #7
              I have a similar situation. I have an almost six year old male who we had alone for 5 years, then we took in a stray temporarily and wound up with a litter of kittens. Now we have only three left of six. They have all been here as very friendly and unintimidating housemates for 9 months and Shadow, the 6 year old, still absoloutly HATES them. He doesnt attack them or anyhting, but goes to all lengths to avoid them. He has completly changed in personality. He even seems a bit angry twoards us since the kittens. I dont know if there is much we can do. Luckily I think they do a good job of avoiding eachother, and I guess it is getting a little better as time goes. Luckily for Shadow It will only be a few more years until me and my siblings move out, and we intend to take the imposing kittens with us. So if Shadow can tough it out, he will have his domain once again. I know we have been very lucky, I'm sure he could have been very violent twoards them if he wanted to, but he mostly just avoids them. I'm sure it doenst hurt that we love him the most and arent shy about showing him that he's still our baby! :D
              *Amanda*
              My Family: 3 Kittens, 2 Cats (not including my beloved strays), 20 Fish, 6 Betta Fish, two mice, and two hamsters. And all is well. :-D

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